Saturday, December 1, 2012
On Another Note
I posted a while back about Sydney going to see her paternal grandmother for the first time in over a year. I was concerned about how it would go. Unfortunately, Sydney is in a phase where anyone she doesn't see everyday is a stranger to her and she doesn't want anything to do with them. So, Sydney wouldn't let her grandmother hold her. It broke my heart. A large part of this distancing Sydney has done is my fault. I can't imagine Sydney growing older, like 50, and making me a grandmother. If I couldn't see that baby or hold the baby, I don't know that I could survive. The visit, however, was therapeutic for grandmother and me. We caught up, we chatted, and we realized we have some things in common on this crazy grief trip. I empathize with her more than I ever have before. She lost a child... her baby. No matter how that loss occurred, that void can never be filled. I don't even want to imagine losing my child. So on that note, I've increased my photo/video sending and am being a lot more cordial. Because in the hindsight of things, she and I used to get along so well. Amazing how turmoil can make people do rotten things. For my silence to her on things regarding Sydney, I am sorry.