Different Kinds of Love

I worked all weekend.  It was tiring but fulfilling work for the most part.  I didn't have a single pt. who didn't need to be the ER.  All of them were definitely having emergencies.  I realize now that maybe the fillers (people who could go to a clinic) are a gift to help me not feel so tired all the time.  Goodness knows if every pt. that came into the ER needed life saving treatment, I'd only last a few weeks in my profession.

More to the point.  After working all weekend, driving home last night I couldn't wait to get my arms around Sydney.  When I walked through the door, Sydney was running to me saying "mommy, mommy, mommy."  The feeling was unbelievable.  Hugging her was like an explosion of sheer joy followed by an ooze of perfection and satisfaction.  Words don't do it justice to explain the love I have for that child.  In my opinion, that's the most pure, unselfish love I'll ever get to experience in this human world.

I'll say I've been in romantic love once before.  Of course, it was with my husband.  In retrospect, that love was lurking of darkness.  Until now, I didn't realize how filthy loving him made me feel.  He was a fun guy and a nice guy most of the time, but I believe God has a hand in helping you choose the person you are to be with.  Too many things pulled me in a different direction from him while we were still dating.  But I forged onward, because I was selfish for the love he made me crave.  That love was hungry to the verge of famished.  Greedy.  Not even in reference to him, but I was like a dry paper towel trying to absorb water by trying to absorb all the love I could from that relationship.  All it did was leave me weak and virtually useless.

I realize romantic love takes work.  But it shouldn't make you feel filthy or sinful while working towards it.  In my future endeavors toward it, I've got to remind myself not to go back there again.  

A last realization... Even in the covetous love I so desperately yearned for, I believe God rewarded me with pure love for being so faithful and committing myself to the love I sought.  That pure love comes from, you guessed it, Sydney.